Day 30. DAY 30!

Well, well, well...

Today is the final day of the 30 Day No Makeup Challenge.

I can go on and on and on about all the different things I have experienced and lessons I've learned, but I think I did a decent job at giving snippets of that in previous blogs, so I won't jibber jabber right now. I will tell you...

It's been fun, emotional, difficult, challenging, and delightful. It's crazy to think that this started as just an idea that was put on my heart, and it turned into this extensive learning process; this is only the beginning. I'm learning a lot about myself; the good, the bad, and yes, even the ugly. It's hard to swallow ones pride and say ok, this is me, now what? BUT, it must be done.

I will never stop growing, learning, receiving, and giving. 

God, help me. 

shout out to all the lovely ladies who sent me pictures of them makeup-less. Even though you did not necessarily do the challenge, I loved getting these pictures. I loved that you all were willing to post a picture of you makeup-less; Such fierce and fabulous women!

"Beware of seeing yourself through other people's eyes."

xox

Growing Pains.

Day 25 of the 30 Day No Makeup Challenge.

This has become more than I could have ever imagined it to be.

 I've found myself crying more than usual (Yes, that is actually possible). I finally asked God on Sunday in utter anguish, "God, why in the world have I been crying so much? What am I missing? Why has my heart been hurting?" I was driving on the high way and anyone who drove by me may have thought I was absolutely insane, because I was crying, talking to myself, and yelling at some points, and then all of a sudden I just took a deep breath and felt a sense of peace. Then I was reminded - and I know it was a gentle reminder from God- that I am doing what God is telling me to do. I keep asking Him, what is it that you want me to do, why am I crying, what do I need to do next, why am I feeling like this....

Then He reminds me, "Anais, you are doing what i've asked of you. You are growing, you are being stretched, you are being used for My glory, you are learning to live your life as a living sacrifice."

That's when I felt a sense of peace. I cried, yelled, pouted, whined, and it compares to a child crying because they're teething and nothing soothes it, but they are going to be so happy when they finally have those chompers in and can properly eat REAL food. God is telling me, " Hold on, I got you, keep going...This is all worth it. I love you."

It can also compare to when addicts go thru rehab, their body goes thru such horrible withdrawals, that some of them think they are going to literally die. Their body was so use to the junk the person was feeding their body, that now the body feels as if it can not function without the junk. When in reality, if they give it time, take care of themselves, and stick with it, their body is going to feel on top of the world once completely healed. BUT that hard time they went thru, where they were uncomfortable, felt like they were about to die, were they hated how they felt--was necessary; totally necessary. That's how growing in the Lord is for me right now. It can feel agonizing, tiresome, difficult, and sometimes I feel like I'm missing out on good times; but, if I just stick with it, keep my eyes on the Lord......Man, my measly  human mind can not even begin to imagine the possibilities. If one just surrenders to God's doing, God will use you for things that are bigger than yourself.

BUT I've had to change my way of thinking, I've had to let go of some people, I've had to stop doing certain things, I've had to alter my life. I'm finally living my life for the One who gave me this life to live. My heart aches thinking of the people i've had to let go or distance myself from, but it is necessary. I still love them, I can still talk to them, but my life is going in a different direction, and I can not just pick up everyone around me and take them with me-as much as I would love to- they have to make the decision to surrender and grow on their own. All I can do, is live by example and pray that even in my mess ups, God is glorified and exemplified.

God use me.

DAY 20! 30 Day No Makeup Challenge continues!

 This challenge has helped me to notice how in love I am...

God, I am forever and aways yours. I'm so in love with you.

The less I put my eyes on me, the more I put my eyes on my sweet sweet savior.
Do I get selfish and whiny and think me me me sometimes? Sure. Duh. BUT I cannot and refuse to dwell on that. I get out of that rut real quick, because it will destroy me. The other day I read, "Don't let feelings of failure weigh you down." Distractions will come and will come full force, with the intentions of helping you lose your focus and get your eyes off of what really matters/is most important.

Before, my relationship with the Lord was artificial and almost like a hobby. I went to church because it was just something I did, somewhere that felt good. Now, my relationship with the Lord and savior is ALL that matters, it's what matters most--it is Life. I cannot live apart from God. I cannot dwell in the past, I cannot dwell on my stupid mistakes, I cannot sit hear and keep regretting what I've done. Instead, I've decided to fall more in love with my God and thank Him for bringing me out of the stinky and dark place I was in.

Less of me, more of Him.

xo

Transformation

DAY 15 of the 30 Day No Makeup Challenge.

We've completed half of the challenge! Where did the time go? Phew.

I didn't notice that it was quite possible to learn so much in just 15 days. The other day I told a friend, "I'm over this challenge, I'm so ready to wear makeup." I'm such a baby sometimes, haha. Here's what I've come to find out, this is so much more than just a makeup challenge.

So much more.

I've taken this time to be more aware of my feelings, of my life choices, of my relationships, and just of me as a whole. Who would have thought that a no makeup challenge could have conjured up such awareness? Well, I think it all comes down to a choice. I chose to do a 30 day no makeup challenge, I chose to be more aware of myself, I chose to challenge myself and just go the little extra mile. Sometimes it's no fun, sometimes it's hard, sometimes I whine, but in the end, I choose to trust in what God is doing in me and thru me. Also, the support and words of encouragement I've received are absolutely wonderful, so appreciated. BUT i'm just acting on something that was put on my heart, I can't take the credit. I mean, that's what choices are, right? Acting on it. It can be a person, it can be a situation, it can be anything and everything.

What are we acting on? How are we acting? When people see you, what do they see? Be honest with yourself. & if you don't like the answer, change it. I want to be a reflection of Christ. I want to emulate that Christ type love and peace. Someone told me the other day, that I inspire them. ME? I inspire? So weird. I'm not this superior person, that is a "do good-er." I'm just Anais. I almost didn't know how to receive the comment, it was overwhelming. I mess up a lot, I get emotional, I get angry; I'm human. BUT I own up to my mistakes and I try to better myself in order to avoid repeating those mistakes. I don't always get it right, but I'm getting better at it. I think that this challenge is teaching me to never stop learning and to never stop growing. It's also showing me that I do not NEED to understand every little thing.

Why/how do I inspire? Why do I love people? Why am I honest with people? Why am I the way I am? I don't know. I've been called to. I'm just answering the call. I've been transformed.

I almost want to apologize for my less than savvy way of writing and for not be as eloquent as others, but I won't, because this is me.

xo

True Beauty

DAY 10.

True beauty is in the way she laughs

True beauty is in her eyes

True beauty is how she acts

True beauty is inside

True beauty is unseen

True beauty is only felt

True beauty is not mean

True beauty is herself

True beauty can't be cruel

True beauty is bare

True beauty within you

True beauty is always there

True Beauty can't be covered with makeup

True beauty means true love

True beauty can't be baked up

True beauty is the flight of a dove

True beauty has no flaws

For True beauty is all that matters after all

all rights reserved to Jean Melanie Pullman 

Dare to be Bare

xo

 Rock on, friends. 

You're Beautiful.

DAY 5. 

At first, I thought, "Ok I'll just avoid mirrors as much as possible." That way, I didn't have to look at myself in the mirror with no makeup. I have a bad habit of looking at myself in the mirror and picking myself apart. I see a scar, a pimple, bags under my eyes, eyebrows all messy, and anything and everything I could possibly capture in a matter of seconds.

Is it true? Does my face capture a bunch of imperfections? Yes, yes it does. BIG DEAL. 

Someone pointed out that I have a habit of saying things about myself, that may be kinda sorta true, but I'm just tearing myself down and eating away at my self confidence--all because I was just, "being honest with myself." 

We, humans (or maybe just Latinas =] ), do that sometimes. We think we're being honest and that's good, right? Yea, but what is your approach like? How are you conveying the truth? Are you telling the person out of love? or just because you see a flaw and decided to take it into your own hands, you approach it with no filter, no consideration of their feelings, and no real knowledge of the situation? I'm so guilty of that, SO GUILTY. I must say, I've gotten better, but I can be even better.

 I mean, that's life--if we allow it, we're always learning. Never stifle learning!

Well anyways,

Are you telling yourself you're beautiful everyday?

 Because you are; bare & all. 

People ask why I'm doing this. Well, why not do it?

30 Day No Makeup Challenge.

Dare to be Bare.

What's been going on? 

Daring to be bare.

 

Witnessing to others.

 

Encouraging each other. 

I've been feeling blessed, encouraged, inspired, and loved-- just from doing what was on my heart. 

so cool.

30 Day No Make Up Challenge: Barely There

And so it begins, folks! The 30 Day No Makeup Challenge: Day 1, is among us. 

Let's dare to be bare!

& thanks for all the lovely encouraging words, friends!

Barely There!

Barely There.

Well folks, I have decided to take a 30 Day Challenge. It will be a 30 Day No Makeup Challenge.

Why a 30 Day No Makeup Challenge? Well, It's just something that has been put on my heart. This will be both a challenge and a declaration for myself and dare I say, for all women or just people in general! It is a challenge because, I know I like makeup. I don't wear a lot, but I wear enough to cover my imperfections, and anyone that knows me, knows how much I love my lipstick. It's a declaration in the sense that I am making a declaration of beauty, of individuality, of uniqueness; a declaration that leads to celebration of one's self. Celebrating everyone's sense of selfhood.

I also like a good challenge, so bring it on. Also, where is my confidence? Who am I when stripped from my cover up, my mascara, my lipstick, and liner? I'm a child of the Living God, I'm a vibrant Latina, I'm a daughter/sister/niece/granddaughter, I'm a girlfriend, I'm a friend, I'm a student, I'm an educator, I'm a lover of people, I'm an emotional being, I'm a beautiful young lady; That's who I am. Do I always recognize that and do I always feel beautiful? No. BUT that's what I am, regardless of how I feel about myself sometimes. Now is as good a time as ever to declare it, right?

Who are you? How do you see yourself? Not just physically, but inwardly.
* I find nothing wrong with makeup. It's fun and it's a girl's best accessory. That's not what this is about.

Can you be 'Barely There' with me? Can you stripe yourself down and really celebrate 'you'? Barely There is just a name I gave this challenge. We are all in different places in our lives. We all go thru different situations. How do you react to certain situations when you're Barely There? Do you feel as assured in your guise when you're stripped down?

This is what I want: I want other people to join me in the 30 Day Challenge- friends, family, strangers, anyone who wants to join. There are lots of choices; do the full 30 Day Challenge, just do a few days if you'd like, if you do not want to do the challenge it self, challenge yourself to do something else. For example, give a person a genuine compliment everyday; something from the heart, something sincere and meaningful. A few other things I've decided to do along side of Barely There. I am pushing myself to read a Proverb every day during the challenge and to drink more water (I have a bad habit of not drinking enough). Well, anyways...

Will you join? Will you be a part of the challenge? Will you be part of this declaration?

If so, send me an email and tell me why you're doing it or what your thoughts are. I'd love to post pictures or emails received, just make it clear if you rather me not to (or I can easily keep emails anonymous). My email is Amarias831@hotmail.com.  If you have my number, send me picture of you 'Barely There' and why you decided to be part of it. Post this on your FB wall, twitter feed, Instagram feed and wherever else. Use these hashtags to show some unity in this challenge: #BarelyThere #DaretobeBare #30DayNoMakeupChallenge. Tag me in any Twitter posts- @ana_ama or Instagram - @anais_loves.

I am doing the 30 Day Challenge from October 14th- November 12th.

Will you be Barely There with me? Do you Dare to be Bare?

ekk, this was tough for me to put up. BARELY THERE.

xo

darkiness2Light

I've gone from darkness to Light.

From feeling condemned and alone,

to being forgiven and free.

I've gone from depressed and lost,

to finding true happiness and meaning.

From deceit and lies, 

to truth and love.

I went from having a heart of stone,

to having a heart of flesh; softened and ready to receive. 

I was roaming this world aimlessly; Just wondering what direction to go.

Now, I have a purposeful life; filled with prosperous moments and hope.  

He let me trade beauty for ashes;

Riches for my filthy rags;

I was given a directed endeavor for my utter uselessness; 

And I now have passionate pursuit in place of lack of motivation. 

I was dead, and now I'm very much alive.

I am sanctified by faith. 

I am chosen. 

I am called.

I am loved.

I am His very own.

I am out of the darkness and into HIS marvelous light. 

Just love to love you...

Well, here ends the posts about people in my life who have been influential, whom I love very much so, and who, in some way, imparted something special into my life and into who I am today (did I use whom and who correctly? ekk). Anyways...

I wanted to use my previous blog posts as a gentle reminder to tell the people who are important to you, who you love, who have influenced you, that you appreciate them. Maybe you're creative and can find a beautiful and unique way to convey the message to them, but you know what else may work and is just as beautiful? Just flat out telling them, "You're important to me" or "I appreciate what you do" (you might get extra points for pinpointing exactly what you appreciate--e.g. "I appreciate that you washed the dishes last night" or "I appreciate that you called me the other day"....you get it) or saying, "I love you." Or maybe you're a person of few words but like to act on your love, clean the house up before your loved one gets home, buy them flowers, kiss them passionately, hug them with both arms embracing them; nice and tight, watch a chick flick with them even though you hate it, call them even though you aren't a phone person, look them in their eyes; put your cell phone down; and really listen to what they have to say when they are speaking--- find different ways to deliver your love to them. 

Don't get comfy with the people in your life. What do I mean by that? I mean, just because they are always around you think "I love you" goes without saying, that they know you love them, no need to say it or do anything special..WRONG. Us humans, as much as some of us like to deny it, love us some love. We thrive off of someone showing us love, appreciation, acknowledgment, and just some type of recognition; even if it's small. Why do you think people get pets? But I have faith in the human race, that we can show that type of love that a dog shows when its owner comes into the door after a long day of work. Are we really going to let pets take over that job for us? Okay...I'm getting side tracked...

Express your love. Don't wait and say you'll do it tomorrow, do it right now; go buy them their favorite coffee and surprise them at work with it, go clean the kitchen and have dinner ready and set up all pretty, call them and simply say "I love you"....

And to everyone who reads my blog, I know it' not a lot of you, but THANK YOU. Thanks for reading. I know I'm not super vocab savvy or always grammatically correct, or maybe you think I just blab, but you still read? Thanks. Thanks a lot. I'm just a girl that likes to share what's on her mind. 

AND thank you to those that comment on my FB and text me when you read, that makes my day; seriously. 

heheh

=)

5.27.12

I don’t know if this will be embarrassing, but I’ll take the chance.

Last, but most certainly not least— I am going to end my streak of posts about influential people in my life by ending it with a post about my very own boyfriend, MY baby, Jamaal.

We’ve only been dating for three weeks, I know, it has not been a long time at all; But when it’s right, it’s right. Everything about us coming together has been so beautifully orchestrated by God’s divine hand. If we had met a few years back, we would have messed it up and tried to do it “our” way. People laugh when they hear we knew each other from church because: a) people know who we use to be, b) church is a random place to meet someone, and c) because church can only be a place to meet “goody two shoes” or “hypocritical” people (right?-- Wrong). I laugh at all of those too, but not because it is unbelievable for me to think you can meet someone at church, but because no one knows the sweet and special connection Jamaal and I have. I don’t care where we met; I just care about us here and now, and our future of getting to know each other and growing together in the Lord.

We have some similarities, we have lots of differences, but most of all we really enjoy being with each other. We’re learning from each other, growing together, and we’re both excited to see where this takes us. We’ve promised to put God in the center of this relationship and we’ve already seen the fruits of that. My heart skips, leaps, and jumps while I write this because I’m just so ecstatic to see what the future holds.

Jamaal is level headed, passionate, responsible, “cool”, great dad, thoughtful, noble, and just a delight to be with. He listens when I speak but is quick to give his opinion, he encourages me but doesn’t baby me, he is sweet but never disrespectful, and he’s my boyfriend. I’m not even sure I’m use to saying “my boyfriend.” But I’m glad that when I refer to boyfriend, it refers to Jamaal; wouldn’t want it any other way…

xox

Fam Bam.

Next, My family.

Oh boy—where do I begin?

I have a mom and dad that will do anything for me. They have been through some stuff when we were younger, and they may have had their ups & downs, but they tried their best to not let it trickle into their relationship with my sisters and myself. They love us so incredibly much.

My Mami is my biggest supporter in life. She’s my ultimate cheerleader. She has always let me know how important I am, how valuable I am, how beautiful I am, how proud she is of me, and how much she loves being a mother (& now grandma!). She has always been such a hard working woman. She is selfless, supportive, and just an overall doll. My mom has taught me to love unconditionally, to appreciate, and to hold on to the ones we love.

My Papi, my dear dear papi; he has made me laugh, cry, angry, and happy. He has always been my life coach. He has and always will push me. He has embedded into my mind, that I am destined for greatness. He always expresses his love for me. He loves his girls so much. We are so much a like that we bump heads, but we also totally get each other in a special way that only father and daughter can get each other and understand. He has taught me to stand strong, to push and persevere, and to protect myself from heartache.

Mami & Papi, te quiero mucho.

& my sisters? Pshhhh, these ladies are literally the ISHHHH. They are the bee’s knees, the cat’s pajamas, the coolest kids on the block, the most precious and lovely ladies I have ever had the pleasure to know; I really mean that. I laugh and argue the most with my sisters, I yell and cry the most with my sisters, and I share and enjoy the most things with my sisters. Each of my sisters is individually fantastic.

Natasha: She is just beautiful inside and out. Natasha loves to love. She gives people the “benefit of the doubt” and is much stronger than she gets credit for. Natasha is creative, sweet, and just a breathe of fresh air. She is one heck of a listener and has a huge amount of compassion and patience in her little heart. She juggles so many things at once; You are amazing, Natasha.

Digna: She is hilarious. She loves with all her heart. She’s reliable and trustworthy, she’s adorable and darling, she’s loud and clever, and she’s just a precious young woman. I’m so happy that the older she gets, the better of friends we become. You’re a doll, Digna.

Xenia: She’s the stylish one, the risk taker when it comes to fashion, hair, and life in general. She gets stuff done- no hesitation. Poor girl had to grow up so fast; she went through a lot at a young age. We forget that. We forget that she had to grow up fast because of what was happening in life, and because she was the baby, but she never wanted to be treated as the baby—she’s always just wanted to be one of the girls. Xenia blows me away with her maturity. We have conversations sometimes, and I have to remind myself that she is only 17. You will do great things, Xenia.

As a family, we’ve been through A LOT together. We have a special bond that I’m pretty sure is unbreakable.

I also LOVE others in the family so very much: brother in law, brothers, nieces, nephews, cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents. Each of you have taught me something new; everyone from the youngest and smallest to the oldest and wisest. 

           

  

XO

Mentors

A mentor is defined as a wise and trusted counselor or teacher, an influential senior sponsor or supporter. I couldn’t have said it better myself; that is exactly what the following people are to me: Pastor Joe and Ms. Jen, and Mrs. Johnson.

They have known me since my young, awkward, and silly days. They’re beyond friends—they’re life enthusiasts, encouragers, knowledge- givers, wisdom seekers, and they are dear and near to my heart.

Pastor Joe and Ms. Jen are like my spiritual parents. They have always encouraged me to fully seek God. They are nurturers.  They exemplify a life dedicated to God and a life of discipline and joy, a life that pursues and seeks the face of God. Pastor Joe and Ms. Jen are honest, loving, and admirable advisors. I get a little teary eyed writing this, because you both always express concern and love for me. I respect the both of you so incredibly much.

Mrs. Johnson was my teacher in middle school and now she considers me a colleague and friend. I’m not even sure how to express how much that means to me. This woman is one of the most real and honest people I have had the pleasure to meet. As a teacher, she pushed me to strive for excellence, to be original, and to be the precious daughter of God that I am. She did not just teach me every day academics, but taught me life skills; not to let people talk down to me, to look beyond the hardships, to work hard, to have my work be something I can be proud of, and to do things with my head held high. Now, she is still offering me advice, and is still one of the most lovely people I know.

  

Pastor Joe, Ms Jen, and Mrs. Johnson— thank you for sharing with me, listening to me, loving me, encouraging me, and for being totally authentic with me.

Dearest Friends.

For the next few posts I’d like to talk about some people who are important to me; people who have contributed to the being that is me. They’re people that love me for me. They are people who I laugh with, cry with, argue with, and know that no matter what, they’re willing to talk with me, help me, and still love me; even with all my annoyances and imperfections. They are people I respect and adore.

Now, I love people. There are a lot of people I respect and adore; but the people in my posts have an extra special place in my heart—I know, you may think that’s unfair, but they just do.

It's important to express your love for those around you every now and then; let them know you love them, you think of them, & that you appreciate them.

First, I’m going to start with my very best friend, Ms. Adelle Samaha.

We met when we were 8 years old. We are now 23 years old and still going strong in our friendship. If anything, this is the strongest our friendship has ever been. She goes to Purdue University in Indiana, and I live in RI. So we don't get to see each other as often as we'd like.

It sucks having your best friend live away from you (in high school she moved to Connecticut from Pawtucket, RI), so we’re use to having some distance from each other, BUT it does not matter how long Adelle and I go without talking, we will always pick up where we left off and laugh like we just saw each other the day before. Adelle is smart, beautifully talented, blessed with an amazing singing voice, woman of God, strong in her faith, firm in what she believes, confident, honest, bold, hard working, and just all sorts of wonderful. She lifts me up, prays with me, encourages me, challenges me, pushes me, holds me accountable, and loves me. She is exactly what a friend should be. 

Adelle has taught me to step my game up-- that reliance on God brings you to a whole new level; new levels of love, trust, companionship, and new levels in life as a whole. 

Man, we vibe so well together, we gel like no other.  We’ve gone so strong for so long that there is no turning back now! It's so hard to put into words how grateful I am to have her as a friend. Adelle, thank you for being a sister to me.


& to all my other friends that love me, listen to me, are there for me, challenge me, talk to me, check up one me—I love y’all. THANK YOU: Kris, Cass, Jaz, Britt, Nicky, and Bri. Also, Thank you to the awesome couples who have been there for me as a beautiful unit: Barbosa’s, Tolleson’s, McWilliam’s, soon to be Braga’s, Gibb’s, and Rojas’.