Day 30. DAY 30!

Well, well, well...

Today is the final day of the 30 Day No Makeup Challenge.

I can go on and on and on about all the different things I have experienced and lessons I've learned, but I think I did a decent job at giving snippets of that in previous blogs, so I won't jibber jabber right now. I will tell you...

It's been fun, emotional, difficult, challenging, and delightful. It's crazy to think that this started as just an idea that was put on my heart, and it turned into this extensive learning process; this is only the beginning. I'm learning a lot about myself; the good, the bad, and yes, even the ugly. It's hard to swallow ones pride and say ok, this is me, now what? BUT, it must be done.

I will never stop growing, learning, receiving, and giving. 

God, help me. 

shout out to all the lovely ladies who sent me pictures of them makeup-less. Even though you did not necessarily do the challenge, I loved getting these pictures. I loved that you all were willing to post a picture of you makeup-less; Such fierce and fabulous women!

"Beware of seeing yourself through other people's eyes."

xox

Growing Pains.

Day 25 of the 30 Day No Makeup Challenge.

This has become more than I could have ever imagined it to be.

 I've found myself crying more than usual (Yes, that is actually possible). I finally asked God on Sunday in utter anguish, "God, why in the world have I been crying so much? What am I missing? Why has my heart been hurting?" I was driving on the high way and anyone who drove by me may have thought I was absolutely insane, because I was crying, talking to myself, and yelling at some points, and then all of a sudden I just took a deep breath and felt a sense of peace. Then I was reminded - and I know it was a gentle reminder from God- that I am doing what God is telling me to do. I keep asking Him, what is it that you want me to do, why am I crying, what do I need to do next, why am I feeling like this....

Then He reminds me, "Anais, you are doing what i've asked of you. You are growing, you are being stretched, you are being used for My glory, you are learning to live your life as a living sacrifice."

That's when I felt a sense of peace. I cried, yelled, pouted, whined, and it compares to a child crying because they're teething and nothing soothes it, but they are going to be so happy when they finally have those chompers in and can properly eat REAL food. God is telling me, " Hold on, I got you, keep going...This is all worth it. I love you."

It can also compare to when addicts go thru rehab, their body goes thru such horrible withdrawals, that some of them think they are going to literally die. Their body was so use to the junk the person was feeding their body, that now the body feels as if it can not function without the junk. When in reality, if they give it time, take care of themselves, and stick with it, their body is going to feel on top of the world once completely healed. BUT that hard time they went thru, where they were uncomfortable, felt like they were about to die, were they hated how they felt--was necessary; totally necessary. That's how growing in the Lord is for me right now. It can feel agonizing, tiresome, difficult, and sometimes I feel like I'm missing out on good times; but, if I just stick with it, keep my eyes on the Lord......Man, my measly  human mind can not even begin to imagine the possibilities. If one just surrenders to God's doing, God will use you for things that are bigger than yourself.

BUT I've had to change my way of thinking, I've had to let go of some people, I've had to stop doing certain things, I've had to alter my life. I'm finally living my life for the One who gave me this life to live. My heart aches thinking of the people i've had to let go or distance myself from, but it is necessary. I still love them, I can still talk to them, but my life is going in a different direction, and I can not just pick up everyone around me and take them with me-as much as I would love to- they have to make the decision to surrender and grow on their own. All I can do, is live by example and pray that even in my mess ups, God is glorified and exemplified.

God use me.

DAY 20! 30 Day No Makeup Challenge continues!

 This challenge has helped me to notice how in love I am...

God, I am forever and aways yours. I'm so in love with you.

The less I put my eyes on me, the more I put my eyes on my sweet sweet savior.
Do I get selfish and whiny and think me me me sometimes? Sure. Duh. BUT I cannot and refuse to dwell on that. I get out of that rut real quick, because it will destroy me. The other day I read, "Don't let feelings of failure weigh you down." Distractions will come and will come full force, with the intentions of helping you lose your focus and get your eyes off of what really matters/is most important.

Before, my relationship with the Lord was artificial and almost like a hobby. I went to church because it was just something I did, somewhere that felt good. Now, my relationship with the Lord and savior is ALL that matters, it's what matters most--it is Life. I cannot live apart from God. I cannot dwell in the past, I cannot dwell on my stupid mistakes, I cannot sit hear and keep regretting what I've done. Instead, I've decided to fall more in love with my God and thank Him for bringing me out of the stinky and dark place I was in.

Less of me, more of Him.

xo